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Jul 11
Okay, thought you should know that our friends at Edge Hill University are organizing an amazing symposium and animation festival in their campus at Ormskirk. It’s called C.A.K.E. and it has lots of amazing guests including Vivian Halas, Joan Ashworth and Paul Wells. They’ve teamed up with a delegation from China and it looks pretty amazing. Click here for full details.
At 10:30 on the 17th July there’s a mini Chris Shepherd Retrospective. Don’t miss it. Here’s the running order….
Special C.A.K.E intro (2014)
Dad’s Dead (2003)
Falling Into Pieces - Black Casino and the Ghost (2011)
Who I Am And What I Want (2005)
The Broken Jaw (1997)
The Ringer (2013)

Okay, thought you should know that our friends at Edge Hill University are organizing an amazing symposium and animation festival in their campus at Ormskirk. It’s called C.A.K.E. and it has lots of amazing guests including Vivian Halas, Joan Ashworth and Paul Wells. They’ve teamed up with a delegation from China and it looks pretty amazing. Click here for full details.

At 10:30 on the 17th July there’s a mini Chris Shepherd Retrospective. Don’t miss it. Here’s the running order….

Special C.A.K.E intro (2014)

Dad’s Dead (2003)

Falling Into Pieces - Black Casino and the Ghost (2011)

Who I Am And What I Want (2005)

The Broken Jaw (1997)

The Ringer (2013)


Jul 2
thanks to the overground festival, bar shorts, project shine, overspill and the antenna studios for making all of the film nights we ran so special. here’s an image of me and gang on the last day of the festival. John Barrett took this shot with his 100 year old camera.

thanks to the overground festival, bar shorts, project shine, overspill and the antenna studios for making all of the film nights we ran so special. here’s an image of me and gang on the last day of the festival. John Barrett took this shot with his 100 year old camera.


Jun 27

Bar shorts goes Overground - tomorrow night!

Bar Shorts is back….

…..in Crystal Palace’s Antenna studios (as part of the brilliant Overground Festival) with a special program of PEACE & FOOTIE inspired short films and animations.
Love it or hate it football, this night promises the bite of Suarez plus the goodtimes of Best. If you are the type who hands in a sick note to get out of football practice there’s plenty for you from our resident football skeptic. Prepare for a night of total fun plus live music from FIREFLIES.

We will show  Jerry Levitan’s ‘I Met The Walrus’,  Darren Walsh’s Angry Kid & Flaming Choppers’  World Cup song ‘Handbags’, 12foot6’s ‘Offside rule’, ‘Save the Whale’ and Dog Almighty’s ‘Kick Ups’ as well as ‘Balls’ by Sam Morrison and ‘Balls For Basra’ by Atif Ghani, Dog Judo featuring the late and great Rik Mayall, ‘Peace One Day’ by Phoebe Halstead and Angie Phillips, ‘Jamon’ by Iria Lopez, Over Dinner by Marcus Armitage and others TBC.

8pm. 28th June 2014

Antenna Studios Gallery
Bowyers Yard, Haynes Ln
Crystal Palace
SE19 3AN
United Kingdom

Nearest tube and rail. Crystal Palace and Gipsy Hill. Overground and rail from Victoria, London Bridge and Highbury and Islington.

And best of all its free!!!!

Book here for tickets. https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/bar-shorts-x-antenna-x-cp-overground-festival-tickets-11942866435

Find out more about Bar Shorts. http://www.barshorts.com

There’s also a whole day of entertainment at the Crystal Palace Overground Festival. See the website for all the details of events.

http://crystalpalacefestival.org/

Jun 26

It’s tonight at Coopers Yard in Crystal Palace. The Electric Palace’s Open Air Cinema presents A Channel 4 Random Acts Spectacular as part of the Overground Festival. With amazing filmmakers live and chattin… Robert Morgan, Angie Phillips, Phoebe Halstead, Any Wolfe Thea Glad, Doug Hindson, Jez Pennington, Jacob Reed, Jocie Juritz, Imogen Woolley, Matt King and composer Andrew Hayes. We start at 8:30. Come on down.


Jun 16

Jun 15

Jun 5

I’m very proud because The Ringer has won the youth jury prize at Courtivore Film Festival 2014 in France. A big thanks to the festival and the cast, crew, Valentina, Nico and all at The Bureau and Autour De Minuit. Hooray!


Jun 4

Okay - I’m doing lots with the Crystal Palace Overground Festival this year. Come along its going to be a laugh.

On Thursday the 26th June at 8:30 I’m presenting a Channel 4 Random Acts Spectacular at the Electric Palace Open Air Cinema. It should be a lot of fun. There’s still tickets so check out crystalpalacefestival.org.

Friday sees a special screening of Richard Ayoade’s Submarine plus a rare chance to see The Ringer. I suspect this might be sold out but once again check the website.

On the day of the festival score an own goal at a Bar Shorts football special at the Antenna in the heart of Crystal Palace. Everyone knows I hate football so lets say its going to be a bit different. Plus music from Fireflies and the RPM club its going to be a special night. O yes…. Don’t miss it. Check www.barshorts.com for FA cup style ball pulling tension. More details to follow.


May 23

Bar Shorts is back in Brighton at Hotel Pelirocco on 28th May.



Loosely themed around Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll we will show short films and animations by Roger Ballen, Joel Veitch and Ross Butter, The Line, Modern Toss, Bob Godfrey, Greg Jardin, Matt Oxborrow & 12Foot6, Johnn Fitzpatrick, Marcus Armitage, Mister Kama, Chris Shepherd, Michael Clifford, Brian & Karl, Will Anderson, Darren Walsh, Run Wrake, Kasia Nalewajka, David Lopez Retamero & Dave Anderson and Carl Addy.

See you from 7pm for drinks and we will begin the screening at 8:15pm sharp.

The night is free (as always) but please let us know you’re coming via Eventbrite as capacity is limited.


May 21

Fancy a F- by Chris Shepherd

The sun breaks through the dreary clouds of a September depression. Its time to go school. Past the perilous house with dog. Past perilous house with the psycho family. Past the perilous house with killer granddad and his perfect fucking roses. The ones that need the heads knocking off them.

The cold bites my lips as I reach the gates. It’s misty, you would think it would make the school look better, but it doesn’t. It only adds to mist adds to the 60’s building’s spooky edge. Like the H Block or Auschwitz on a bad day. There’s no escape.

The schoolyard. I can feel a tension. Like there’s going to be a scrap. Ooo, Ooo, Ooo, Ooo. That’s the sound they make when and execution is coming. But today its different - silent – like a Buddhist outpost.

Feverish greasy puss ridden kids have found something. Shabby uniforms huddle around their discovery. I push past the polyester and catch a look. I can’t believe it. They all stare at a blow up doll. A cheap sex toy from adolescent heaven. Lasts weeks life model lies dead on the tarmac. Its strange mouth like a fish gasping for air. The teenagers mill about like the monkeys from 2001, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for the moment a strange slab of perfect marble stolen from undertakers talks to them and tells them to do crazy shit.

Then the planets line up. They realise that men do things with this ‘toy’. But in all honesty don’t know what. Then cheap porn magic weaves a spell, like Pinocchio. The doll speaks to them. "I want you… I want you inside me big boys. Give it to me hard - right now - with your big fat hard cocks". The virginal youths stare on like a Japanese tourist lost on the tube. Like Pinocchio’s nose their trouser bulges grow. The devil doll’s not finished with them. "Are you man enough?" She has their full attention. "I’ll take you all on – every – one – of - you". The boys absorb every word. But they are deluded. These stupid kids think the rubber temptress is talking to them. But in fact she’s not saying anything because she’s just a life vinyl doll filled full of fucking stale air. “I want you….now….now”. She commands. “Or are you all fagots, benders, queers???”

The accusation fuses their brain circuitry, connecting parts of their minds until now dormant. The look at each other. Confused. They stare at the rubber face – challenged by its gall. Then one kid snaps….. Fists and kicks lash out, attacking the doll like Jackie Chan or some shit karate black belt. Now they’re all joining in a kicking frenzy.

I back away from the weirdness.

If you don’t understand something what do you do? Ask questions? Look in the Thesaurus, dictionary or Thompson’s Local directory? Not these kids. They play football. ‘Over here….on me head’. Fat Brian is in the goal and O’Shea is in the penalty area and plants the blow up doll in the back of the net. Again again, swept away on a total high. They play again and again. Till its hundred nil to childhood.image

 

The bell goes and everyone heads inside to be brainwashed in the factory of useless dreams. They all forget about the blow up doll. It would have been nice if one of them offered their coat. It was cold out.

Everybody had forgotten about the doll when school ended. It was only when they saw it ripped and torn caught on the barbed wire on the fence. They stopped and gave its sad little face a second glance. It was raining; I could have sworn that a tear came from its eye. Everyone realised - they had killed the doll. There was no joy, no extra time, just the walk back to the estate, back to their Findus crispy pancakes and chips. Would anything that exotic happen again in there lives? The murders walked on.


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